The anxious confidence originates. It’s so easy to be detached when you use those ten dollar words. I know what’s really happening. I’ve been planning for this for months, maybe years. Nebulous fantasizing that just recently crystallized into a sharp-edged plan. Each step engraved in my mind. Each step a map towards freedom.
I had my tool. I had chosen it with the precision of a master artisan. This would be my masterpiece, my Pieta. This would be my crowning moment! Hell, this would be my equivalent of a Kentucky Hot Brown. Perfection.
I could hardly wait, but wait I must.
In the dark, I could feel my heart racing with excitement and fear. I could taste the bile as it rose, pushed up as my nerves unraveled themselves. I was too close to let my traitorously weak body ruin things. I had planned for everything. Nothing was left to chance. I took a slow, deep breath, inhaling the musty scents of the ancient clothes in the closet. Dust tickled my nose and made my eyes burn as I stood there and waited. I pressed the pillow against my stomach, trying to quell the sudden pangs of hunger. If, no, when I finished, I would reward it for not growling or emptying. In fact, there was a diner that made a decent hot brown. I held that image in my mind’s eye as I continued to wait.
I cradled the pillow closer. It was gorgeous. Heavy brocade fabric that should have given a designer home pop instead of being relegated to a bargain bin. That’s what the rich and famous called it when they added a pillow or something with a bold color. Adding pop to a room. I was going to add a different kind of pop, but the pillow was beautiful and suited my purpose. I had heard that a master always treated his tools as though they were works of art. I don’t remember where, maybe I made it up. Hmm, it was a good quote. I’d save it and use it again.
Silence pressed against me in the dark of the closet. I could hear nothing from the other side of the door. Could it be? I pressed my ear against the door, ignoring the rough wood. No, I heard nothing. It was! It was time!
the door was silent as I pushed it open. I had oiled it that morning. Like I said, nothing left to chance. It was there. I could see it sprawled on the bed without a care in the world. My cares were soon to be extinguished. Closer I stepped. I kept each breath silent and slow. Even closer I stepped as I raised the pillow. I could see its face, almost feel its breath. I steadied my grip on the pillow even as I steadied my own breath.
Without a final thought, I brought the pillow down with all of my strength.
Copyright 2012
Erika Napier
Please contact morningjuiceandserials <at> gmail <dot> com for reprinting information
Ooo - nice description, love the building of anticipation. Such fascination for just a pillow.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
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